Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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