What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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