Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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I have a horse.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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