How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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pudding

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops