Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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no rasist joks

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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