What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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What is white and black and red all over.

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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