How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

Why did the black man die? He was shot

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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