whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +26

My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops