Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

if you are reading this your wasting your time

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

like most people my age. im 27

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops