What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops