Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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