If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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