Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

I don't get it

Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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