Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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