A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is a poop on a poopstick? A pile of poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops