What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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What do a priest, a rabbi, and an asian have in common? They all don't know each other.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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kkkk

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops