What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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copy me and i will kill you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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