q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

pobody's nerfect

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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