A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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Amanda Knox walks home free.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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