Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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guess what? bannanas

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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