If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Where is Tampa Bay, Florida?

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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