what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

Amanda Knox walks home free.

What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...