A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops