What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Shltskc gw? G

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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