What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Knock Knock Come in

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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field day?

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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why did the black person cross the road to get to his lynched sister

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

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Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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