How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

[Set up] [No punch line]

Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? A black man is a life form, more specifically a homosapian, while the bucket, as well as the shit, is an inanimate object.

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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