Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.-South Park

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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What is the name of the car? What

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops