What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

noah is a scrub jungle

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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