What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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