Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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I don't get it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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