Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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