why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

What do you call a black man? A normal human being

To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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