No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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Potassium? K.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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rarw

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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UN

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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