Fox News

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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Dead girls can't say no.

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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