What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Faithful men.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That's what she said

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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No antijoke here.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops