There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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