your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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Where's my tractor?

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Once upon of time there was a chicken. It crossed the road and everybody made fun of him. The End

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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What do Ash Ketchum and Peter Francis Geraci have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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What's black and self-describing? The words of this joke.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a dead Jewish girl that lay on the other side. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops