A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

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What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Adam Chebali is awesome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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