Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

If life hands you lemons Take them

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

Turtles

knock knock go away

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

The awkward when you said moment in your head.

Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

An rich man walks into a ghetto and buys something for 1 million dollars. what store was he in? he wasn't in a store,he got robbed

What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

apple pie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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