Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An iguana walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops