What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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CHEEZECAKE

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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1+1= 69

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Jess Burns

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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