Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

Women's rights.

what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

Lol Nerochan, that was like totally awesome!

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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