Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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what's funnier than the holocaust. If it happened again.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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No it doesnt..

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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