My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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A guy at a baseball game....

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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gabe sucks 8-------------------D~

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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