I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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