Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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