A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

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A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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