A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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