-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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