Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

The word "Walter" is never funny.

So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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