Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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whats the difference between a brick wall and a jew? jews wear yamakas

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops