A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops