Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops